What an Ivy League Education gets you

Below is a note I wrote at the end of Sophomore year, about what I learned in many of my classes, especially required courses for the PAM major. They're all meant to be humorous with a tinge of honesty. Since then, I went on to take a course in Public Finance which taught me that tax forms are made to be complicated and that rich people will always find a way to not pay their taxes, including becoming philanthropists. Among my other courses, I also took a Nutrition class which taught me that no diet scheme works in the long-run, only spending more energy that one takes in works.



Writing seminar #1
Who decides what's right or wrong? If I want to be in a polygamist(polyandrous) relationship, who are you to tell me I'm wrong? If you care that much, write me a letter. In fact, write a bunch of letters and put'em in a book...and maybe I'll read it.

Pre-Calculus
If it takes me 5 hours to finish question 1 of the problem set, how long will it take me to finish a Calc problem set?

Swimming 101
Finally figuring out why black people don 't float. Am I generalizing? Let's get in the pool and I'll show you. Oh wait, I forgot my floaties!

Writing seminar#2
Nuns in the medieval era: Holy or Insane?

Economics of Public Health
The truth finally comes out. Sometimes pigging out on ice cream brings me more utility than the number I see on the scale.

PAM 215: research
Do you like me? circle: a. yes b. no c. don't know

PAM 330: Policy Evaluation
Stata is crunk!
You can pretty much regress anything to make it make sense
and being black always make coefficients negative

PAM 210: statistics
Global warming doesn't exist, sheryl crow's "one piece of toilet paper" policy sucks and the Daily sun is...well...enough said

ECON 101
What's my opportunity cost for spending time on Facebook? hmmm...anyone, anyone?

Intermediate Microeconomics
rah rah Capitalism, eh?
I'm still having trouble finding my indifference curve...or curves..

DSOC 101: Dev. sociology
All fingers are not created the same. People are still poor. It sucks but that's the way it is. Now, if we had let Marx have his way...

NS 206: Global Health
People are still dying...in the world

DEA 150: Environmental Relations
I need my space. You need your space. You invade my space, I'll punch you in the face. Any questions?

BIO 109
At our next family reunion, we'll draw a phylogeny tree, instead of a family tree. Okay, I know that was erroneous. We'll draw a cladogram instead

BIO 110
Hold on to your seat! You never know what's going to show up on the screen.

PAM 230: Policy Analysis
Write, write, edit, edit, edit. write, edit. Delete. write.edit. Powerpoint.delete. powerpoint, write.edit.powerpoint. whew!

PAM 310: Regression
What's the interaction term between you and me, holding the rest of the world constant?

MUSIC 435: Ewe Dance and Drumming
"Get low!" never sounded so painful